Post Olympic Denial

August 28, 2008

Now that the games have come to an end I’d like to congratulate China on a fantastic performance both in competition and their incredible opening ceremony which I hope becomes a stoner classic like Fantasia or the Dark Side of the Rainbow. Sure they outraged honest Americans when they piped in some fire works and had attractive Chinese girls lip syncing to girls with bad teeth. But hello? It’s a MADE FOR TV event. We did the same exact thing in SLC 2002 with the fireworks and if Americans can’t remember any instances of lip syncing here in America they should be shot for being ignorant.

OK, enough with placating Ma and Pa Kettle from the good ol’ US of A with this ridiculous medal tables for the Olympics. Sure the US has won a bunch of Silver and Bronze medals which are nice accomplishments. At the end of the day however  China has won far more gold medals than the US and should be placed at the top of the medal table like they do in other countries which list countries in order of Gold medals. I think every American should feel insulted that the media believes that we can’t see through this bullshit. If the Olympics were one giant track, swim, wrestling meet ect everybody knows you would get the equivalent of 3 points for Gold, 2 points, Silver, and 1 point for Bronze while the US still would finish ahead of everyone but China we would get our butts kicked for the “meet” for 1st place and China would win the meet. Maybe we can find baby pictures of Chinese gymnasts in their cribs holding up newspapers from 1995 and close the gap a little. When you list the All Time Super Bowl records who ranks higher the Giants who have four appearances with 3 wins and 1 loss or the Buffalo Bills who also have four appearances but no wins? What about the Atlanta Braves who have tons of division championships and League Pennants but only one title to show for it? Do you think the Chinese would take three of our Bronze medals for one of their Golds?  Hey at least we didn’t lose in Basketball this time around. Go USA!